Okay, this is what really happened...
Phil met Nigel on a small farm in Birmingham, Alabama. Phil was taken into the house one day when he was found trying to steal chickens, and became something of a surrogate brother to Nigel, who had been found in the Bayou some years before, and at that time could only understand Swedish, but could also write in Polish.
Phil was given his first guitar by the boys' adopted parents, the Von Trapps, as an incentive to stop him from eating earth and the whitewash from the walls. Nigel would drum along at the kitchen table with two carving knives and constantly caused injury by dropping them as people walked past.
And there always were people walking past; the Von Trapps believed in opening their doors to anyone that was passing through the area. One weekend, a group of sailors from the Paraguayan navy came to stay and Phil and Nigel became friends with one of the younger visitors. He was only 16, but already being groomed by his captain as a future officer. His name was Craig.
On one of his visits, of which there were many as the Paraguayan navy was often active around Alabama, Craig suggested that they visit New Amsterdam, and there they stayed for some time, squandering the little money that they had on alcohol. It was there that the trio learned that at times, people could be convinced to listen to people play guitar and sing. Craig was by this time growing in his stature as a bass player, and a band was formed. Nigel suggested naming the band after the cult French film, "La Clinique de Bettes", or "The Betting Shop", but due to an administrative error, the name was recorded a little differently.
Just as the three were about to embark on their musical career, disaster struck. At a most inopportune moment, the navy had discovered Craig's whereabouts and were once again enlisting him for a secret mission. As soon as the telegram had arrived in our beat-up office, Craig had gone.
Luckily, on the same day Nigel met a colleague from the Institute of Popular Culture, where he had taken a small course one afternoon. Ian was happy to play bass, and saved the lives of Phil and Nigel.
Then Ian too mysteriously disappeared. Despite the rumours of pagan activity and the growing belief that the band was encircled by a deadly hexx, a new bass player was sought. The search took Phil and Nigel to the South of Ireland, and there they found Chris. Chris was reluctant to believe in the idea of a curse, and stepped forward as the new bass player.
The band now being complete, Phil, Nigel and Chris took their music back to America, and found the reception both warm and comforting.
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