The Firelight Shocks DVD Review Section

The Beyond Distributor: Anchor Bay Region: 1 Ration: 2:35:1 (Anamorphically enhanced) Sound: Remastered in Dolby Surround 5.1

Now this is more like it. This, my friends, is exactly why you want a DVD player - lovingly restored, widescreen pristine discs of all those eerie Euro-classics that you've previously only seen on nth generation bootleg video cassettes. The Beyond, as any self-respecting genre fan knows, is one of the best Italian horror films ever produced, featuring - arguably -the most impressive scope photography of any Fulci movie, beautifully understated colour schemes and wonderful set pieces of excessive blood and gore. Watching this DVD forces one to admit that, indeed, there is a real beauty inherent in this movie - the haunting sight of the blind woman running out of Katherine MacColl's spacious hotel and into a garden swamped with mist is wonderfully surreal. The photography is consistently interesting and inventive as well (the widescreen frame prowls behind walls, captures some lovely New Orleans scenery and even twists and turns through the hotel itself in one scene of inspired creepiness). Yup, it's a truly gorgeous movie, and this transfer is incredible. A job well done. As for the blood and gore... well, it's all a bit dated looking now, and the special effects range from good to lousy. The dialogue is pretty pisspoor as well, and the story... well, there really isn't one. Oh yeah, there are some corking bloopers. 'Do not Entry' and 'Library' spelt 'Librarie' spring to mind, as does the 'dead' body which blinks (it's the corpse that lies in the hospital which Joe the plumber is taken to). All in all, this is a wonderful movie. The Beyond is my favourite Fulci film and, in my humble opinion, only Don't Torture a Duckling comes close to matching its lush visuals. Sure, The House by the Cemetery is nastier, Zombie Flesh-Eaters made more money and The New York Ripper is the Stephen Thrower approved choice for all of you perverts out there but The Beyond is Fulci's masterpiece. If you haven't already seen it (and if you've got a fucking pan and scan transfer then throw the worthless thing in the bin this moment. You should be ashamed) then isn't it about time you did?

EXTRAS: Excellent stuff folks! The 'Images of The Beyond' is arguably the disc highlight (outside of the special commentary which I'll get to) featuring a short interview with Fulci taken from the set of Demonia. It also shows us Fulci and star David Warbeck on stage in London back in 1994. This was as part of Eurofest and place is jam-packed with fans and media. Seriously, almost every time Fulci breathes there is about a hundred cameras shooting off him. There are all sorts of photos and stuff too - amazing! There are three trailers too (which is interesting because you can see that they tried to market the film as a haunted house movie) and also the full colour version of the prologue as seen in German cinemas. This is pretty cool and without the sepia tint the opening crucifixion is even more gruelling! Then there's the commentary track from the late David Warbeck and Katherine MacColl (recorded in 1998). To be honest, this isn't quite as good as I had hoped, although David Warbeck cracks some really funny jokes. MacColl at one point calls worms 'reptiles' which makes her look a bit dopey, and the talk is often irrelevant to what is transpiring onscreen (at one point the two stars begin to speak about what wet weather they've been having!). That said, it's still well worth hearing. Then comes the big shock. A fucking music video by some band called Necrophagia. Who the fuck are these pricks and why the hell do Grindhouse think that anybody with two fucking ears would want to actually listen to this shit? They are obviously some death metal band, and the lead 'singer' is a complete cock-rocket with long greasy hair, a protruding beer belly and a sodding Ilsa T-shirt! The rest of the band resemble a bunch of neo-Nazi retards, and the music consists of the fuckhead lead 'singer' banging on about 'rarghh roarght rargggggggg' or something. Grindhouse are obviously assuming that all horror fans dig Swedish underground death metal bands and their Yank counterparts. Well, fuck off and masturbate to your Faces of Death videos you sad arsed Goth knob-jockeys. If this is your thing then fine, but just don't assume it goes for the rest of us. Moreover, the collector's booklet that you get loses some points through calling Fulci the best Italian horror director (over Bava and Argento? Isn't this the same man who made Cat in the Brain?), labelling Cannibal Holocaust and Ferox as 'classics' (see my comment about masturbating over Faces of Death videos) and having something nice to say about Firelight Shocks' favourite misogynistic speed addict Stephen Thrower. Apart from these minor complaints (and they are minor complaints, I just feel like being a bitch), this is one excellent compilation. Add to this package a few free postcards, a hidden trailer for Cat in the Brain and an equally hidden title sequence from the original American release of the film (cut to shit and called The Seven Doors of Death) and you've got one of my favourite discs. Lovely, lovely, lovely... I can't recommend this enough. Hell, you can even watch the thing in Italian with English subtitles! An utterly essential purchase and I can't thank the distributors enough. Vipco's release, although uncut, won't be up to the standards of this and it'll have zero extras. Anchor Bay are great no doubt about it. Just can the shit death metal next time huh?