Extreme: Nekromantik 2 (1991)

Director Jorg Buttgereit made one dull piece of shit in the original Nekromantik, but at least it managed to make me laugh a couple of times. I mean, how serious can you be about two people trying to get their end away with a dead body? Sadly, Nekromantik 2 (subtitled Return of the Loving Dead ... ha fucking ha) ups the boredom factor so high as to be almost completely unbearable. In fact, for what seems like an eternity, fuck all happens. I'm completely serious, it's like you are watching a (badly made) home movie of some love sick couple. Yes, our hero and heroine go to the zoo, they feed the ducks, then they go to the carnival and - well that's it! Just loads of footage of them walking about and laughing while this sombre music bleeps away in the background. Christ it is so boring... and this is most of the film! OK, so the movie begins by showing us the sicko suicide scene from the end of the first film and there is some (tame) necrophillia which results in poor Beatrice M (replacing Monika M, but playing the same character despite looking nothing alike) throwing up. Apart from that, however, nothing really transpires in this piece of crap until the very end. I mean, at one point in the film, Beatrice and her new beau (who dubs hardcore porn for a living) even go and watch a movie! It's in German, of course, and it's been filmed in black and white and (I kid you not) it consists of, like ten minutes of these fat naked German people eating a table full of boiled eggs. They just sit there and eat and eat and eat! Then one of the eggs breaks and soft yolk runs out - obviously in a vain attempt to remind us of death... yet again. Some may say this is pretentious but I would argue that you need some sort of intelligence in the first place to be pretentious and Buttgereit is too thick to be fucking called pretentious! By this time I was really bored out of my skull. Perhaps, with the egg sequence, Jorg was taking the piss out of European art cinema, but if so, he is just as boring as any of his contemporaries. Retard. Anyhow, the film ends with Beatrice watching seal autopsies (this is gruesome), before killing her boyfriend during sex in a sick, sick, sick ending which, admittedly, delivers the goods - but do you really want to traipse through 90 minutes of sheer tedium for about 1 minute of skull crushing gore? I doubt it. Why either of these films has a reputation I doubt I'll ever know. This movie almost sent me to sleep and I actually had to stop it THREE TIMES because I was about in dreamland... it is this bad!

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