The Betty's Clinic Guide To Life


We got the idea to add this page some time ago. It was to be a simple to follow guide that would guide each and every person who looked at it through life's daily trials. But writing this now, I can't think of anything. And I know that if I start getting carried away with this, I'm just going to sound like Baz Luhrman, and that's the last thing I want.


So, to cut this guide short, try and be good. It doesn't really matter whether you are or not. Don't be afraid of happiness.
Do something! Dress well and drink better.


AND Nigel has now added his own bit to this...as follows...

This is my guide to life by nigel by using real life experiences I hope that you the reader and fan of betty's clinic can learn to live fitter ,better, happier and a more productive lifestyle. Like vannessa feltz


When I was five I lived in a small shoe box - never live in a shoe box

When I was seven I was allowed to the local park on my own occasiionally I plaed on the swings or slide but never the roundabout one day when I was in the park I ate some glass - never eat glass

When I was eleven I learnt how to read write and spelle - thist isa a goud thingig to bea ble to do.

When I was thirtteen I learnt how to have fourty winks and ten wanks be able to watch neighbours

When I was fourteeen I learnt how to play the drums everyone must lesrn howe to play the drums this is avery important thing to be able to do bang bang hit the dryum banf bang hit the drum drummmmm,, acid acid

When I was fithteen I took up dinner lady spotting but becarful dinner ladies don’t like being splattered with paint.

When I was sixteen I traded my shoe box where I had been living for three small magic beans - I'm still undecided wether this was a good idea but I do own a giant shoe now thatks to my magic mushroom bean/';,axcid acid

When I was sventenn I tried eating glass again- never eat glass

When I was eighteen I learnt how to dance in nightclubs - dancing is fum and sometimes if your really good dancer, (like me) girls come up to you and you get kisses and hugs .



I'll finish off with a James Dean quote:

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow"


Back to the main page